Kind sein –
mit allen Gaben in mir drin
Mädchen sein –
und suchen, wer ich bin
Frau sein –
und gehen, wohin ich will
Mutter sein –
und lieben, innig und still
Kämpferin sein –
für alles, was ich mag
Verbundene sein –
mit der Welt um mich jeden Tag
Mensch sein –
mit allen Gaben in mir drin
Eins sein –
mit mir, so wie ich bin
The story of the journey
It all started when Sonja Fabian curation from the Stadtmuseum in Hall asked me to make souvenirs and things to sell in the museum, made from recycled material from the museum. In the beginning it did not catch my interest… plastic… bags… it was not something that I wanted to work with. But I am always open for new opportunities and challanges.
I went home with some pieces to see if this material would speak to me……
At the time I was actually deep in my new textile work. For two years I had had no interest in doing an exhibition, but I soon found that I wanted to make an exhibition with new work.
I started to cut and play with the material. Very soon I got a feeling for the material, it had qualities from paper and textiles at the same time… it is more permanent than paper but not so soft as textile… and I felt that I had started to mix paperwork and textilework together and I was in love…….
For one week I cut, stapled, sew, and drew and I forgot about time and space……
I started with what I would later call the Happy Balls. The material had different motivs, typography, illustrations and pictures. I wanted to use the letters on the material and with the small letters I could make words so every ball had a meaning… Happiness is different from one person to another and I decided to ask people what happiness is for them
And I got very different answers…
I decided to make the Happy Balls from 12 pieces one for every month of the year, showing that happyness is constant. It exists all year round, in different forms.
The idea for the staple work originated in my textiles, from hats I had made for some years ago… I found that this interesting form created shadows and interesting texture… It is a little crazy because I realized that to make one picture I needed a lot of round forms. In the first picture I used about 3000 round forms and it takes about one hour to make 100 forms, and only when I am focused on nothing else….
I decided that this was a journey of patience and perseverance… Rome was not built in one day and good things take time… One of my thought these days is why do we do all things so fast… we forget to enjoy…
After I started the staple work I took photos to document my process and when I saw the photo I started to see new ways to work with the material.
I found the form so interesting that I wanted to draw it and not in a small scale but a big drawing. I started drawing the details and the pieces grew as I worked. It took a while to do but I did enjoy the work and I really liked the results.
My mind had been take over by this new material and all the ideas that had sprung from working and playing with it. But now I had a problem. I was a long way from where I was supposed to go with what Sonja and I had discussed about souvenirs and small gift items for the museum… This was far away and totally different and instead of small souvenirs I saw an exhibition and it had to be in the Statsmuseum…
Does she like it or does she not… I do have patience when doing my work, like cutting 3000 round shapes for one artwork, but waiting for an answer is always difficult for me… And then she said Yes….
When Sonja asked me if I was interested in making some souvenirs for the museum, recycling from this material, I did not think that I would have this material between my hands for more than 4 months, almost every day. Actually I didn´t think at all, the material just took over. I had found some fire, and in this fire I forgot everything. I don´t know how many hours I have been cutting and preparing my work… preparation that requires no thinking and while my hands work, my mind can wander and create and travel the world.
After Sonja had said yes to the exhibition, we had a meeting and I got more of the material and now it started for real… I needed at least 6000 pieces for my works, so I had to make a plan… I wanted to make this by myself, it would be a challenge and an exercise in discipline.
One of the material was transparent with golden print… the colour was so nice and I thought maybe I could cut some holes in it and make a lamp. Not only could I cut holes into the material, but with a knife I could both draw and take the print away… It was Magic…
I really like the Magic light… scratches… scratches …
I think there is a reason for everything and in this process I have had a lot of time to think and I also used this time to listening to documentaries and to learn about life. One of the thing I have been thinking of is what motivates us, what make us spend our time working on some projects that we don’t know if they will take us further in life… when we are doing something because we have to do it, we can’t not do it… In my case I see the artists and writers, with the need for creativity but there are others who search for answers or physical triumphs, that are motivated by other things… What is it that drives us forward…
Form or content
Most of the material I got was with text but one I got was a Portrait of an Writer. With the that portrait I decided to weave together with his text foils of his career.
Sometimes when I think of us, what we are and how we behave… How everything is different today than it was just 100 years ago… and 100 years is a very short time in the history but the changes have been very fast. But I don´t think we are so different… Our needs and hopes and wishes I think are still the same.
I also think that in our fast world we start to loose our ability to connect with ourselves. We start to see the form more than the content. And what is most important for us is to understand what we need, not what we can have and what should do.
I can work on my art for 14 hours a day without being tired. Of corse sometimes my back hurts but that is just normal, physical tiredness. It just flows and sometimes it is like the work is almost there already.
I start to ask myself why I connected with this material and why did I lose myself in this project? I have no idea if this is going to be successful. I have no idea if others like this form as I do… and is it good? I have no idea… The only thing I knew was that I wanted to do this. And after I had that thought, I realized that I do have something to say with this work. I am worried about the world, worried about how we live, and that we have so much waste…
I like to make things from nothing. When my senses observe something interesting, whether it is something I hold in my hands, sounds or words that I hear or something I see, my imagination flies.
And I started to paint the material and cut ….
I am grateful that I had a blank canvas for my imagination…
We decided that making some smaller pictures would work well with the other pieces in the exhibition. I had a specific vision for frames that would have to be crafted specially for the small pictures. I do not have the right tools for carpentry but I thought that I don’t like to have it perfect. I like to have this original and raw. So I decided to make them by myself…
One day one of my small artworks was in my living room and the sun was shining. When the sun shone on the artwork, it was magical how the shadow and the light were playing together. It created new shapes that was so interesting to look at, that I had to take some photos. From those pictures came the need play with my watercolors and explore the form through that medium.
I wanted to have three big pencil drawings… Realistic drawings take a long time but you get a good feeling for the form. I wanted to make smaller pictures, just with my feeling from the form… With coal you can work fast and free and after a long time drawing detailed pencil drawing, it is relaxing to change medium. I found it interesting to work with the form just from my head.
From the drawing with coal I found new form for the small work.
It is like everything goes in a circle. One idea forms another, going forward and back and forward again… From a small idea it has grown and I am really in love with this project
I have found that a round spiral form often appears in my work and lately I have been working with and been inspired by Mandala symbols.
In Iceland we have traditional round bread that is made for Christmas, that we decorate with carvings made with a knife. I drew inspiration both from the form of the bread and the technique of cutting and folding the decorations.
I decided to use a little bit of gold paint to symbolise the light… Round form is for me the life, the hour, the day, the year…
I like to think of life like the growth rings of trees, we start in the middle and as time passes, we collect information and experiences that we can use to grow and learn from an collect more information and new experiences, adding new layers to ourselves, adding growth rings.
It was hard work about 7000 cut round with scissors, scratches, staple, painting and so on, but I did enjoy every minutes of it.
And I managed to finish for the opening. And we got many visitors on the opening night. I am grateful for this opportunity…….Thanks Sonja Fabian…. Thanks Stadtmuseum ……Thanks Hall in Tirol.
And my favorite talented musicians Flo Ryan and Kenneth Gasser made the event perfect ….
And the right time came and the work was floating…..and in November 2016 the day before my exhibition four women was born and they have something to say ….I did´t know that in the beginning …In my silence I found the answer.
She tells me that, the root is my ground. My culture and my past is what I am.But with open mind, learning and respect for the cultures of others I can see all the beautiful colors that we have in this world.
We have just three colors blue,red and yellow. When we mix them together we find the magic, thousands of different color that makes the Masterpiece “Our World,, and we also find more respect for ourselves when we respect others.
without respect the color is gray.
She tells me that, when I close my eyes I can find my own light. In that light I can find everything I need, all my answer and all my wishes.
She tells me, find your fire inside you and you can do everything. In this fire it is easy and everything flows.
She tells me, that when my life is too easy and too organized I have to make a change and get out of my box. We need challenges to continue and to be whole.
My four peaces in SigmundsRied , Ried im Oberinntal, Austria
Sometimes I think that if I had one wish I would like to have more hours in my day. The time goes by so fast…
Last week I had the flue and was stuck in bed all day. Suddenly the time went by so slowly. I had a good time for thinking. I think sometimes the body and the mind say stop, they need to review and rethink and see the prospect.
Sometimes I think about why I am doing my work. Today we can create magic with our technology and of course money. We can create it very fast and we can do thousands of copies in one day. We don´t have to do much work, we can copy and paste. Money is time and time is money we say.
In my bed I saw a documentary from the old masters. Some of the masterpieces took many years to create, but after 500 or 1000 years we are still breathtaken by their work. Today we have much better tools and equipment to create things but we don´t give us the time to do them. I don´t think we have much left of our ambition today to create things that will be remembered after 500 years.
I am not comparing myself with the old masters and I don´t know if my work will live the test of time, but I think I share the same fire. The fire of creating. The magic to see and feel and create from that something that is original, something no one can copy or steal.
And I love every part of this process. And when my work speaks to another person, I got a reason to go on and I find the meaning of why I do my work.
This is a start for a new work but it don´t want to continue and than it simply have to wait for the right time ………
My last exhibition was, ABSTRACT WORLD ,, For me we have less and less respect for the people and for the nature. And we are losing our natural connecting with the nature and automatically we lost connect with ourselves. The last Century with Technologies Explosion change ore life and in some way I think it makes our life more complicated and less fulfill. Everything must to be fast and what we have today is obsolete tomorrow. The things we buy is cheaper and the quality of things is less, we don´t repair we by new things. And we buy without thinking, sometimes to fill up our emptiness and sometimes just because it is cheap. We don´t think about where this come from and why it is cheap. Is it normal that clothes are cheaper and the fabric to make the clothes? Is it normal, that buy new things is cheaper and repair? We are having Mountains of garbage. And unfortunately we have cheap workers sometimes children in Indonesia and China to work for us and sometimes like a slaves. But this is the Economy and this is the message we become every day, we have to have this and that to be accepted and to feel good. Therefore the more we buy the wheel of the Money system rotates and work for small group of people that controls the world. And nothing is sacred, if it makes money it is okay……And as more we have the more we are empty, we have lost the feeling to wait and looking forward to have things….
I don´t know if this superfluity environment that leads me to the way of my life where I like to recycling and work from what comes to me. I like my life in a quiet rhythm there I feel the nature change from the summer to the fall, I feel the sadness when the leaves are falling and the flower time is over, but I also find some energy in this time of new colours. I feel rich in my soul. Sometimes I also feel empty in my heart, sometimes I feel sad, we can´t have the sun every day. But after the rain the sun is brighter and that is life….
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
More and more I think about our world….how fast it goes, how much we have of everything for example, things and of entertainment……and how empty we seem to be. For me it is like the more we have the more we are empty.
When I start my traveling I went with my Mobile home and I took the things I need and I had place for..and with that I started my life here …when I rent my apartment and my gallery I start with empty places and before I knew I had everything I needed …not the first day but with time it came…and almost everything was on the way to trash…for my work people are very generous with me they see that I create things and like to give me materials and this is really a gold for my and help me to survive … And when I have the material around me I start to create…and sometimes magic happened 🙂 But I realized that when I got to much of material I lost my focus and I can´t work….
For two weeks I had this problem I had lots of material and to many idea to make things and I did not know where to start so I decided to start making some easy quick cozy blanked from old sweater…..
Easy, simple it start but than I start the fly (70 hour and little more )but I am quite happy with my tapestries 😉
and with this piece I found my road to my Artwork
My Material basked ……
After year of traveling and transfer my house and my gallery, I needed a time to find my rhythm. Time to learn to live in a more than 400 years old house with wood Heating, to find place for my things and to make my home homey ..And now I feel really at home I have peace in my heart and my soul and I just like to be. I don´t like to have plan I don´t like to go for Holiday I just like to be in my work and my searching. After four and a half year of adventure with new land new language new people and now new house, I have found something very special some connection with my self with my garden and with my environment. I am thankful for today and I am looking forward for tomorrow. I am also thankful for the past and the five year on the road that brought me here. I can not say why and what it is that is so special, it is just so. And I am also not saying that my life is a dance and roses, it is not easy to live from art but I am alive and I am happy to be.
I don´t go for my inspiration I just open my eyes and look what I see… The nature is a magic. the light in the morning when the sun rise and the light from the streetlight reflected after the rain in the night…….I have it all when I really open my eyes ………
Sometimes it is not the easiest way of living ..To live as an Artist. But that is my chose and my life.
A few weeks ago I had some days I was not so good and I was not interested for the work I supposed to be working. I had a Art and design marked in Marc I needed to prepare for, but nothing was right in my work. So I decided to take my watercolor and have some fun, let me float freely with my color. I could feel the spring around. It is different from Iceland the spring is stronger here and you can feel and enjoy new beginning.
And I found little magic… The Spring is powerful :- )
Lass Dich vom Licht leiten (Let the light guide you )
Lass Dich von der Erde heilen ( Let the earth heal you)
Lass Deine Energie flissen ( Let your energy flow)
Lass Dich von der Sonne tragen (let the sun lift you)
Lass Dich vom Vassen reinigen (Let the water cleanse you )
Lass den Weg Dich fuhren (Let the road lead you )
Lass Deine Seele frei sein ( Let your spirit be free )
I am so grateful with this work and I think that it is important to have some rain for a new seed to grow and prosper….
And now I have design product with this painting and my text together and I am very happy with my work 😉